On the verge of losing my marbles...

I'm really at a crossroads with my child lately. The terrible twos have hit HARD and I'm not sure what to do anymore. I'm at the point where I cry, my nerves are shot, and I'm out of options. NOTHING works for him anymore. Taking things, time out, even gone as far as to spank, and NOTHING phases this child. He cries for a moment and goes back to what he was doing before. I've even tried distractions and bribes. Someone PLEASE tell me WTF I'm doing wrong here. His sleeping patterns have completely changed, although we knew it would happen. His nap is starting to become more and more nonexistant, yet, when he doesn't take one, he's so tired, he doesn't know what to do with himself. At bedtime, its a struggle EVERY single night, he cries like some one is trying to cut his arms off. He literally REFUSES to fall asleep in his own bed. Yet if we get him out of bed and let him fall asleep elsewhere he will sleep in his bed all night long(usually), but these past few nights have been complete and total HELL on me. The first night he was up until MIDNIGHT and FINALLY fell asleep on the couch, then at 4:30a.m. was wide awake and thought it was time to play. He took a decent nap, but then last night, he went through his usual bed time fight and Bryan went in and laid down next to his bed with him and he went to sleep in his bed. Low and behold at 5a.m. he was WIDE awake. Today at nap time, we fought for OVER an hour(might have even be close to two) and he REFUSED to fall asleep, when he finally did, he MIGHT have slept for 45 minutes and he's back up and back to the usual shit that drives me crazy. Everything makes him mad, he throws shit, he kicks, he hits, he screams, he bites, he head butts. I don't know what to do with him. I love this child more than my own life, he is my freakin world, but its to the point where I cry constantly because I don't know what to do. I'm so frustrated with him. I've never encountered anything quite like him before. My anxiety level is ridiculous. I've never experienced anything like this before with my levels. No one, not even really Bryan understands where I'm coming from when I try and talk to people about it, they've NEVER seen this side of him, he really only acts like this when its just him and I. Except for the bedtime fight, obviously Bry has seen that, but that's it. Tell me, what the hell am I supposed to do with this kid. How am I supposed to deal with this? Please help me before I pull all of my hair out. I'm at my wits end!